Sunday, May 3, 2009

Me of many shades

*Narcissistic post alert..don't say that I didn't warn you!*

Over the last month, I've experienced a lot of things. Simple things that've made me change my mind about who I am and what I think of myself. I used to think that I'm a pretty complex person, one who is hard to please, really..what with me being so materialistic and impatient and what's worse by FAR is that I get bored, EASILY.

But it turns out I'm really not like that. Not all that much, anyway.

It turns out that I like simple, real-life things, too. I'd gotten very un-real, in my opinion. I'd stopped seeing the sunset everyday, and to most people that isn't such a Big deal. I get that. But to me, it is. There were basic things that made me happy, things I'd happily forgotten for a while. Things like watching the sunset from my balcony (which is a spectacular view of it), smelling the rain on dry mud, the thrill of watching morning wash over the world, the feeling of running in the rain. Nature and everyday things are pretty darn awesome. Somehow, somewhere, I was caught up in some ridiculous world where I'd forgotten that.

So for a whole month I sort of went back to who I used to be years ago. (Years years ago, because I became internet-addicted very early.) I stopped using the internet, I stopped blogging, I stopped writing. I decided to just..experience, and leave it there for once. Not go back and write about it. It was a feeling that wasn't expressed in words, wasn't put down on a webpage or a journal, but something that just stayed in my head and made me feel like something had happened. That's what they call "memories", i guess.

AYT asked me, at one point, when a bunch of us were sitting on Punnu's terrace just staring at the road and the lights at probably 3 A.M, "Don't you just wish you had your laptop right now to write about this?". Funnily enough, I didn't. I loved how I'd gotten over my dependence on this thing- I now know I'll no longer write because I need to. I'll write because I want to.

Over the last month I've gone on an awesome trek to skandagiri..I won't post about it because I've come to believe that you should go there and experience it instead. Instead of reading what I've to say about it. It was amazing in more ways than one, and I can safely say that going and doing regular things now- like clubbing, etc just seems way too boring now. I like how I'm going different things on weekends..playing paintball, learning new things, meeting new (and not) people, and I don't think I mentioned going on a bike ride after midnight, did I? I even learnt how to cook something, ran in the rain, smiled about things that I've always hated about myself. I did things that didn't involve my computer, my ipod, my phone. I grew out of that zone and I'm glad I did.

So, yes, I'm back to the materialistic things, too....But not because I have no other choice. I think I now know that to truly live, you have to do a little bit of everything, and I don't think I have a problem being a jack of all trades. Maybe he really didn't get to be the master of anyone, but that also means he got to do everything, not get bored, and have a good time doing it all.

This post is dedicated to the faithful sunset outside my window, which I just saw while I started this post.

5 comments:

Suman Shivashankar said...

A friend of mine calls these as 'almost heaven' experiences. And yeah, I agree with her. How best can anyone express the feeling while staring at the starry night sky, a nice walk up a hill or a beautiful sunset for that matter? :)

Way to go!

Cheers!
Suman

~R~ said...

I can't agree more!

Cheers!:)

Hiroshima said...

The waves hitting your legs and the sand getting pulled away little by little from between your toes... HEAVEN!!

Brilliant post! :)

~R~ said...

Thank you:)

perplexed said...

I want to go on a holiday after reading this post! I miss taking time off to do simple things, like watching the sunset or the stars... I really should make it a point to do that more often!

 
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