Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Got issues much?

Hypothetically, you're at a dinner date. Your date arrives, (I'm presuming she's female here) and she looks all lovely, radiant. In a nice dress, too. Gorgeous. Stunning.

Then comes the menu. You've gone through the effort of looking up catalogues and food guides to decide on this charming place that serves up a meal that's only worthy of such an occasion. You know she's gonna love it. But of course, she is. Who wouldn't love the mouth-watering delicacies whipped up by this place? Its practically your favourite restaurant.

But then, she orders something like a garden salad. Or if this were Victoria Beckham(No offence, really) or some Supermodel, it'd probably be something like a crunchy leaf and beans. A leaf. A LEAF. That's something you could've plucked out at home for..well..free!

Not only that, she looks wonky. She drinks black coffee, no sugar..that's only to make sure she can actually summon the energy to walk somehow, what with the amount needed to balance on those pointy stiletto heels. Even after that she looks wonky. Ask her why, and she'll tell you. "Do you expect me to fit in a size zero after eating proper food?"

Now, If you were normal, you'd think..'Do you expect to live without eating proper food?'...and..sadly, the answer is yes. That's pretty much how ridiculous its become. People used to eat to live. And now, people have forgotten that important point. Food has a presumably gigantic role to play in the development of human civilization. Entire civilizations have grown, based on the food they ate and managed to grow.

Somewhere, somehow, people have looked past nutrition, simply because they're only too starry eyed. By that, i mean staring at the sequins of the dress you're only willing to do anything to fit in. By anything, I mean anything.
Models have died because of starvation. And THEN the fashion industry woke up. Suddenly, everyone started off on the "anorexia is not a fashion statement" brigade.

Technically, nothing has changed. Hundreds of models are fired every year, because they didn't fit into someone else's description of "Beautiful". And that's usually 'Skinny'. They expect girls to be thin, and still have gorgeous,long,tresses and flawless skin. And I'm sure the secret to all that beauty is - (no points for guessing) The all important Leaf. I'm sure a big leaf has all you need to be in the pink of health.

It doesn't end there. You'd think a pregnant celebrity would be happy that she's gonna be a mother, but wait...She's only more worried about her bulging tummy than anything else. She won't come out for the media! Yes...a house arrest for when you're pregnant will do nicely. That way, no one's gonna see how human you are. And how you're going through the journey of childbirth..the miracle of life is in your hands! But, dear celeb woman, You're absolutely right..locking yourself up at home so that no one will see that you've put on some weight..(which is perfectly understandable considering you have a baby in you) is the way to go. That way, you can show other teen girls that being a mother, is indeed, such a weighty issue that it is now something to be ashamed of!

You'll see it everywhere. People don't eat. If you ask me, its hilarious. I don't know why girls like looking so malnourished. Looking slim and being healthy is great, but why look like you're impoverished and can't afford a meal? Why starve, faint, and starve some more so you can fit into clothes meant for ELEVEN YEAR OLD CHILDREN? Because that's gonna make you look like an attractive WOMAN? Oh, I see. Because that makes perfect Sense. And If you can't catch the sarcasm here, that means you haven't eaten in years and your brain doesn't work anymore, sweetie.

I don't know who first came up with the Bulimic idea of throwing up what you ate. Whoever it was, obviously wanted to eat the cake and then throw it up, too. It didn't strike her that we eat so we can get up and get going through the day. We eat so our tastebuds can smile, eh? After that it doesn't matter if the food's out, does it? I say before we hospitalize these girls, we first send them to grade school. You know..where they teach you about food, and why we need it. And it certainly seems like they've never seen pictures of famished, underfed humans during famine who look like bones wrapped in shreds of skin, so lets show them some of those pictures. And some pics of people with frightening deficiency diseases. And then ask them if they think being thin, and having scaly patches all over your face and body, bloodshot eyes and straw-like hair is "Hot".

To everyone who starves their way through, Do you wanna look back on your life without ever having had a nice thanksgiving dinner? Or some special sweet made during a festival? Do you want to be remembered as "The girl who ate leaves" or someone who was genuinely fun to be with, because she had the energy to move around? How can anything ever be fun if you don't eat enough to stay healthy? How will you make an interesting date? How will your friends react if they have to stop you from fainting everytime? Will they think you're a fun person to hang out with?
How will you go on a trek? Or just for once, pig out on popcorn and watch a movie without having to mentally count calories in your head. ....

I say, Life's too short. I can't live without never having tried Gulab Jamun or haagen-dazs ice-cream or belgian truffles. I can't live knowing that I might faint anytime because I haven't eaten at all. I can't let my self esteem be entirely based on making my body suffer. I can't start hating myself just because someone else thinks I don't fit into their narrow, self-absorbed, pathetic description of "Beautiful". Maybe all those freaks out there will someday actually hit a more mature line of thought regarding their health. Its called fitness, not skinny-ness.

Stop behaving like a five year old, and Pick up your spoon, and eat. And while you're at it, Pass the Cheese please.....

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