This week was weird.
Don't get me wrong, it was probably one of the best weeks I've had in a long time. Most weeks are very BLAH, you know..where you arbitrarily wait for something to happen, and then something works out, something doesn't..and before you know it, the highlight of the week would've been potting more than two balls at pool, eating something vegetarian in KFC for the millionth time(Believe me, that happens when you completely IGNORE your tastebuds), or someone actually responding to a blog post (No kidding!)
But this week was different.
For starters, This week had an agenda. I don't normally like writing about my personal life at all, but I guess sometimes, you want to. Not because its all oh-so-fabulous, or because reading it will make anyone go "Ooh la la, she lives it up!"...but because I want to. I feel like it. Shocking, for me...but here goes...
So this week, my friend's sister's wedding was the agenda. I'm not big on naming people, and what's in a name, anyway? But wait..that's reserved for a whole new post.
Oh, man. I'm digressing a lot, aren't I? By the way, I'm not the kind or person who says "ain't I" unless I'm in a very bling-kinda mood. Which isn't often.
So, anyway....one night we went to the mehendi, one night we went to the reception..and it was all so gosh-darn-fabulous that I was quietly thinking a lot in my head. Two things make me think-good scenarios, bad scenarios. If its a good scenario, I can't help but break it down into what the hell makes it THAT good...(Yeah, I know..SO Much fun)...but hey! We all have our weird-ness, don't we?
So During the wedding I was just mindlessly moving from the awesomeness (mind you, the dancing was par excellence) to how my wedding would be someday. Every girl has pondered, and pondered some more on the subject. Yes, even the ones with commitment-trust-issues, even the tomboys, even the ones who never, ever played with Barbie. And yes, Even me.(Barbie-playing constituted a gargantuan chunk of my life, though).
So...I didn't know shit. I mean it. I used to be the kind of person who knew what she wanted, how she wanted it..but now..I didn't know when, how, and most most most importantly...why I wanted to get married in the first place. Plus all these hideous girly doubts crept in. Will I be glowing like that? Will I be that happy? Will I feel like that is the moment? Will my hair grow out like that? What If i'm too fat then to carry off a dress like that? What if my hair-do doesn't come out the way it should? What if, what if?
Man, the female brain- It does the mental tour de france everyday. I know mine does.
Odd, eh? In the midst of an event that was spectacular in every way, I couln't help feel rather lost with respect to my event, hopefully a good long way away. I guess at some level I'm happy with that level of doubt. Its mildly comforting.
Except for when I succumb to the doubts.
College the next day, (after THAT much fun and mental thinking) was nothing short of something very much like the blues. I just wanted to sleep, dream, sleep, sleep....I was so out of it that I came back and slept all evening and all night. For most part of it I was in some elemental trance.
We also went to the reception which was....WOW. The clothes, the food, the dancing, the environment. Needless to say, I danced so much that I took care of two workouts I had missed that week. (Ugh. Imagine calling dance a workout when its wayyyyyyyyyy more fun!)
The other highlights of the week were playing the nintendo wii for the very first time (which just totally kicks ass with its technology-cuteness mix), watching the play "Five point someone"(which I totally owe my friend for, and mind you-it was a stunning play..they took a mediocre book and just made an outstanding play...the cast was fabulous) and....cooking! Yes, I'm starting to quite like cooking. Being twenty something changes so many things in you. Its strange.
But why was this week weird? Because after this much fun, I should either be
- raring to get through any thing torturous
- experiencing fun-withdrawal.
I'm none of these. I'm still very blah.
I know. Women.
I feel it, too. Feelings just don't materialize the way they should, eh.
Monday, April 14, 2008
This week was weird.