Friday, November 21, 2008

Finger-rub

You were the only one who could ever get it right. Nobody ever knew, ever knew that my absolute favourite thing was to have you just take my fingers and lightly press them in yours. Sometimes I'd pretend to have written a long essay or exam, or typed out hundreds of lines of code. Just so you'd be willing to give me that finger rub.

And every night I'd call you to rescue me. From the darkness and the shadows that gleamed, dormant in my mind. You'd walk across fear of your own, to alleviate some of mine. I don't know anyone else who I'd call at 4 A.M, and know that they'd come even after staying up many nights with twelve submissions underway.
Others would tell me I'm seeing things. You'd hold me and tell me that they wouldn't hurt me.

The only real room-mate I've ever had. You're the only one I can count on for an honest opinion. I never knew it then, but when we lived together you understood my need for space and companionship better than anyone else ever will.
Its probably why you're the only person who's seen me change my clothes.

I never really understood you. I preferred to let you have your way, and I let you come to me. That's how it has always been, really...you coming to me. When you did come, I'd try to push you away.
But you still always came. I don't know how you know that if you'd stopped, a part of me would've died.

You're my best secret-keeper.
And I'm spending my entire life trying to be like you.

I can sit with you in complete silence for hours, and know that we're both comfortable. I don't ever have to say anything to you to make us work. We were born to be together, and yet we couldn't be more different.

When you're in pain, or sick, I know it sounds strange but..I actually feel lousy myself. It's like when the strong sunshine hides beneath gray clouds.

You're my wall. You're so normal, so simple, so unpretentious.
My rock.

No-one else will ever come close to you. Ever. You've taught me the meaning of unconditional love.

From drawing in my records to copying my notebooks to giving me the low-down on my friends.
From hiding my books to buying me chocolate fudge just because I finished a hard exam, to switching off the television because I'm supposed to have priorities.
From downloading every song I've ever wanted, to cooking for me. Even though I've never done these things for you.
From doing everything to calm me down when I hyperventilate
to secretly looking up to me

You saw through my lies.truly celebrated my victories.
truly suffered my defeats.

You're numero uno on my list of people.
And I treat you like you're last.

But we work, because we're silently in love. So much unsaid, that just typing this makes me choke up. We don't say we love each other. We don't have anniversaries, dates. We don't celebrate the day we met each other.

You've made me truly love you, without any frills. No awws and muahs, no "You're my favourite person".

You've seen all my dark.
And you love me anyway.

You understand the meanings of words I make up on the spot.

And when you sleep, I want to pounce on you and wake you up.
Just so you're in my life again.

6 comments:

Poof! said...

Let me guess.. This could either be your mommy or Sujju. If not, this makes me really really curious.

If it is them, I can totally relate! My mom slept in the hall the other day, where I was studying, because I told her to stay with me till I finished. I was only joking, but she kept saying it was completely OK, and that she could sleep with the lights on.

And my brother, that boy can be so annoying, but he's really the cutest thing ever. I'm the worst older sister ever, but he seems like the older one. Man, he should never read this!

Good post!

Stargazer said...

I'm wondering who's luckier. The person this was written for, or you...
I think its both.
:-)

Aradhana said...

Wow.. Bold and Beautiful :)

rammy said...

thank you,people.
*bow*
:)

Aradhana said...

"But we work, because we're silently in love.."

LOVE this line.

Aradhana said...

I actually came back looking for this post. Very beautiful.

 
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