Monday, May 26, 2008


The Times are-a-changing! I mean literally, too...The Times, of late, had a collection of articles on Blogs. But wait..not just any kind of blog. Celebrity Blogs.
Ooh! I know! SO exciting! I mean, I don't know which world I've been living in till now, but I honestly hadn't the faintest clue about Indian Celebs indulging in the one activity that I've newly come to greatly respect.

People think Blogging is simple. "Oh, just write about your life, yaar", they say. Hah! If only it were that simple. Really. Blogging is, in my opinion, the product of an unbeatable combination- of patience (for when you really don't want to blog), the gift of the gab (and the gift of the typing-patience), sheer guts (to say what you want to), sheer joblessness (for actually doing something that people may never see..and while we're on this, it wouldn't hurt for readers to comment and let the people who put in time and patience and blah into actually writing..feel nice about themselves.I mean, if you like a post..SAY IT! participate in the informal thinking process worldwide! "Oh, just write about your life, yaar", they say. being a silent reader is like being a sleeping spectator..they're both equally useless), and most importantly..the ability to comment. Criticise. Praise. Be Opinionated.

So it really made me happy to see blogs by Mr Bachchan, and Mr Khan and so on. Way to go, guys. Really. It's nice to see people taking blogging as a serious communication medium. I mean, sure..the content of their blogs may vary from a lot of others', but blogging. That's all. In fact..I' ve so far checked out only their blogs..but both are very well turned out and perfectly sensible.

Now what I didn't like (and oh, dear media- no offence. This is just me exercising my right to an opinion) was the oh-so-dramatic hype surrounding their posts. Deal with it, frosh! Personally, I found Aamir Khan's post (regarding Shah Rukh, the dog..and if you haven't seen it then google it..I'm way too lazy to provide a link for you, dear reader. So sorry!) refreshingly amusing and mildly funny. Who knows how far we can read into the whole thing! I liked the pun he used, and it was merely to create the whole celeb-bitching effect, that's all. What's sad is the media actually fell for that prank, hook, line and sinker. He literally exposed not his brutal idea of SRK being the underdog, but the stupidity of the media in understanding one simple thing- In a blog, the writer is the master.

Ditto for Mr A.B. His comments were blown ridiculously out of proportion. The most ironic part- Both had to apologise to SRK to avoid this media scrutiny. Oh, jeezbel. Now, now. An unwritten rule of the blogosphere has been definitely dis-obeyed. Outright.

See, you don't write a post and then apologise for it! It's meant to be in good humour and I'm sure SRK sees it (judging by the humour he dished out at recent award shows, come on people..grow up!) You probably print retractions in public newspapers, but apologising for a blog post (which usually is an opinion) is like apologising for the head you have. It is yours. You are the master. You created something, because you felt like saying it. You can clarify its interpretation, but tsk, tsk, for heaven's sake..stick to your guns. Apologising is being politically correct, and a blog is the one place you can say what you want, how you want to..and get away with it!

The Indian media..hang your heads in shame. Respect the Blogosphere. Bow before it. It has an unwritten, unsaid, yet fully understood structure. You don't see people battling it out on blogs about statements they never said. You see smart, individualistic opinions..and even famous people have the right to their personal space, even online. Leave a comment and move on with your lives. That's how it works here and that's the only way it ever will.

And as for anyone who blogs..say what you want, without retraction. Be who you'd like to be. Life's too short, really, to be politically correct even on a Blog.
Such sensitive people (I mean the media..hmmph!) should be subject to someone really really forthright (and awesomely funny and entertaining), like Chris Rock. Such mild Blog posts will seem downright dandy, in comparison..

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The secret to Charlie's envied existence

Linux Lies.

Linux also rocks. It rocks so right, It starts lying to you. Most people who like it and use it might take great offense to what I say, but its meant to be a compliment, really. Really. Stick it out, you'll see what I mean.

So, where was I? Yeah..a year back, I didn't have charlie. Charlie (wilson? I think not) is the only dude who always gets to sit on my lap. Don't get any ideas, you. Charlie is my laptop. Hmm, what are you thinking? It could constitute any of the following, and I have a corresponding thought wave for each...

  • You go- “charlie? Lame name”

  • I go- “Yuh, huh..its my laptop. I happen to think it suits him. Meet him and you'll see what I mean. Totally. “

  • You go- “Does this have anything to do with Charlie's Angels?” (Yeah, I have actually been asked this. Gag moi.)

  • I go- “Sure, why not? Especially since I don't give two hoots about the charlie in that movie. The angels were supremely well turned out though. See, I love drew barrymore. There's just this impish joy in her manner...ooh, Digression alert! Anyway, Charlie is just a name. This is supposed to be naming-spree some-happy-ness-creating thing for me. Don't question it being inspired by some cool dude or a perfume company, for that matter. If I wanted that, I'd have gone with either “Batman” or “George Clooney” or “Davidoff”.

  • You go - “Man, only girls name their laptops”.

  • I go- “Lets not even get into boys naming things, shall we? yes, I am a child. yes, I name my laptop. And no, I don't care that it appears silly. yes, I know what I'm saying. And yup, the reason why its charlie is the same reason why most girls would like male dogs. You figure that one out for yourself.”

  • You go- “Oh. Ok, he's named charlie. Get to the point.”

  • I go- “Ok, ok, I will. Just some more babble. Please. Pretty-witty Please.”

  • You go- “Oh nice! Neat name!”

  • I go- “High five! Now we're talking!”

So, charlie is charlie.

Anyway, I installed kubuntu on charlie (okay, okay..punnu did it..I really am way too..technologically challenged to even try) and I'm loving it. But like i said, linux it so beautiful, it lies to you. It makes you think that everything else could be that clean, neat, well turned out, networked. Life isn't like that, though. Life's a bunch of pipsqueaks. need to gain control of something but you can't? Can't you just go..sudo yada yada yada and BOOM! You're the dude who just about over-rides any permission issues that crop up behind your back. Look out, monster files...I shall defeat your worthless existence for I am superuser pro! *Evil, evil, oh so terribly evil smirk*

Sigh. Too bad you can't use sudo to do anything in life.

Ditto with everything else. Why search for menus when you can type out what you want, and get everything to help? I wish i could just type out “That purple shirt i ironed that day” and actually get help options. But no, life's a bunch of windows open up things and search and search. The search option can't find it, and nope, no one's gonna help you. Suffer, bitch!


Not to mention the cool effects. I want people to pop in and out like that, goodies to stream in like that, light and day to mix. But the days go on and the effects are rain. I do love lightning though. It is the coolest nature effect ever. And sunsets. And rain.

Okay, so the effects I'm talking about basically mean I want a zippy life.

But with engineering in VTU...ahem...zippy? Life? whaaa?? (No, you must be punished for even thinking such things. Idiot.)

Also, linux makes you believe life can be just that simple. No viruses. No leeches. Only things that you want will enter your life....the charm to ward off all evil has worked! Even if evil finds its way in, it'll never survive.

if only life were like that. Evil goes away, without protection, or treatment or what-not.

A whole load of things, kubuntu does. (Don't be fooled- You have to work long and hard with it to get it to work nice and good for you). But its so worth it.

Charlie, you lucky guy, you. Envy is the name of this game.

oldest inbox

you know how, in those black and white movies, people would open up an old steamer trunk filled with half-white, torn envelopes, the pages sprinkled with yellow dust and the nostalgia of a different time left to be opened at will? I have that too. Only, it is called gmail.

For most people of my generation(what is WRONG with me..I cannot believe I said that), getting a gmail account equalled either a hot-shot-geek status, or it meant that you knew someone who was a cool-hot-shot-geek who sent you an invite. Cool and hot in the same term, you ask? I know. Good times. *cackle*

I was lucky enough to know such a person, (lucky me!) and that's how I ended up with a gmail id way before most of my other friends. Punnu, who did send me the invite..said it was one of the last few he wanted to send out. Incidentally, he didn't immediately send one to Aditi when she asked for one( which made her want to hit him) and ultimately I don't know who sent her the invite. But all this unnecessary melodrama just goes to show how coveted gmail was. No shit!

The cool-hot (gag moi) thing about gmail then, was the unlimited storage and counting! What I didn't realise then, was that years later I could open up the Oldest inbox and click on parts of my life that I'd forgotten even existed.
Try it. I did, (this whole idea was inspired by punnu, of course) and I unleashed several good things, several horrors and I cannot begin to describe how lame and ridiculously funny I find my previous self to be.

Disclaimer: I am not 50 years old, as the nature of this nostalgic post might suggest. I am merely coming to terms with the dramatic change in my persona.

So, anyway....(the growing old thing is a subject of much hysteria, I'll save that for later)..things that my oldest inbox made me realise...

1) I, can you believe it, I, me, used to use short forms.
It's true.
The one thing I truly hate and have detested (for a very long time) are cheesy short forms...I never really went overboard with it but I actually have used "ya". "gal", "u", "c", and a whole lot more at some point.
My take one short forms (and most of you will disagree with me)- things like btw, brb are fine...but "da", "kewl" and the incomprehensible line of things like "xcln" for excellent, "2rw" for tomorrow and "frstrd" for frustrated do two things- one, they piss off the person (a.k.a, me) trying to get what you're trying to say, and two- they actually make the msg look creepy. Its true. Um, hmm.
I'm glad I was never that weird, though.

2) I was way more adorable.
I took effort and time in typing all these super nice mails to everyone, kept in touch, sent mails to my closest friends telling them EVERY Little thing..about my bad hair cut, about my good days, about growing up pains. I'm just in awe of the person I used to be. Don't get me wrong, I still think I'm pretty awesome but back then- I was that and more. We all sent each other mails even giving advice..long long mails...SO Much fun to read now..partially because its funny to check out how smart you thought you were back then.

It's true. Judging by my inbox(and many people will agree)- as you grow older, it is only a matter of time before you are doomed to the laziness that prevents you from bothering. And of course, we have facebook. I know for a fact that I won't be reading facebook wall messages or superpokes 5 years from now with half as much interest. Facebook inbox messages, maybe.

3)I was also really lame.
This, (based on subject matter in my mails) doesn't really require more explanation.Cough, cough.

4)I didn't know how funny I was.
Okay, so its a “what were you thinking, you little oaf??” kinda funny, but hey, who's really reading?

5)I've changed a LOT.
Boy, this is cool. You've just got to try it. It is sort of like reading a diary.
A conversational one. If you've got saved up conversations on online messengers, those will do pretty well too.

I know, i know. Not quite the steamer trunk, eh? But mails keep you going “what the...” for quite a bit, guaranteed. I can't even remember the reasons why most of them were even sent. The worst are those questionaires where you fill up stuff about yourself like, “what colour are you wearing” and “chocolate or vanilla, summer or winter”..and everyone used to come up with what we thought were such smart alec answers to those things. Ha! Kids, I tell you.

They never get old:)

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