Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The secret to Charlie's envied existence

Linux Lies.

Linux also rocks. It rocks so right, It starts lying to you. Most people who like it and use it might take great offense to what I say, but its meant to be a compliment, really. Really. Stick it out, you'll see what I mean.

So, where was I? Yeah..a year back, I didn't have charlie. Charlie (wilson? I think not) is the only dude who always gets to sit on my lap. Don't get any ideas, you. Charlie is my laptop. Hmm, what are you thinking? It could constitute any of the following, and I have a corresponding thought wave for each...

  • You go- “charlie? Lame name”

  • I go- “Yuh, huh..its my laptop. I happen to think it suits him. Meet him and you'll see what I mean. Totally. “

  • You go- “Does this have anything to do with Charlie's Angels?” (Yeah, I have actually been asked this. Gag moi.)

  • I go- “Sure, why not? Especially since I don't give two hoots about the charlie in that movie. The angels were supremely well turned out though. See, I love drew barrymore. There's just this impish joy in her manner...ooh, Digression alert! Anyway, Charlie is just a name. This is supposed to be naming-spree some-happy-ness-creating thing for me. Don't question it being inspired by some cool dude or a perfume company, for that matter. If I wanted that, I'd have gone with either “Batman” or “George Clooney” or “Davidoff”.

  • You go - “Man, only girls name their laptops”.

  • I go- “Lets not even get into boys naming things, shall we? yes, I am a child. yes, I name my laptop. And no, I don't care that it appears silly. yes, I know what I'm saying. And yup, the reason why its charlie is the same reason why most girls would like male dogs. You figure that one out for yourself.”

  • You go- “Oh. Ok, he's named charlie. Get to the point.”

  • I go- “Ok, ok, I will. Just some more babble. Please. Pretty-witty Please.”

  • You go- “Oh nice! Neat name!”

  • I go- “High five! Now we're talking!”

So, charlie is charlie.

Anyway, I installed kubuntu on charlie (okay, okay..punnu did it..I really am way too..technologically challenged to even try) and I'm loving it. But like i said, linux it so beautiful, it lies to you. It makes you think that everything else could be that clean, neat, well turned out, networked. Life isn't like that, though. Life's a bunch of pipsqueaks. Like..you need to gain control of something but you can't? Can't you just go..sudo yada yada yada and BOOM! You're the dude who just about over-rides any permission issues that crop up behind your back. Look out, monster files...I shall defeat your worthless existence for I am superuser pro! *Evil, evil, oh so terribly evil smirk*

Sigh. Too bad you can't use sudo to do anything in life.

Ditto with everything else. Why search for menus when you can type out what you want, and get everything to help? I wish i could just type out “That purple shirt i ironed that day” and actually get help options. But no, life's a bunch of windows systems..you open up things and search and search. The search option can't find it, and nope, no one's gonna help you. Suffer, bitch!


Not to mention the cool effects. I want people to pop in and out like that, goodies to stream in like that, light and day to mix. But the days go on and the effects are rain. I do love lightning though. It is the coolest nature effect ever. And sunsets. And rain.

Okay, so the effects I'm talking about basically mean I want a zippy life.

But with engineering in VTU...ahem...zippy? Life? whaaa?? (No, you must be punished for even thinking such things. Idiot.)

Also, linux makes you believe life can be just that simple. No viruses. No leeches. Only things that you want will enter your life....the charm to ward off all evil has worked! Even if evil finds its way in, it'll never survive.

if only life were like that. Evil goes away, without protection, or treatment or what-not.

A whole load of things, kubuntu does. (Don't be fooled- You have to work long and hard with it to get it to work nice and good for you). But its so worth it.

Charlie, you lucky guy, you. Envy is the name of this game.


Stargazer said...

Linux is simple, ma'am.
And with Ubuntu (don't get me started on why I don't like KDE).
Everything just works out of the box.
But for longtime users like me ... that just isn't good enough.
The good part about Linux is the customization. "Do this now on this key combo, that when the mouse wheel scrolls, make sure you have only one firefox window open and take me to it if it is".
Only in linux.
I will now retire with a wistful smile and pray to Linus Torvalds and Mark Shuttleworth for making the world a better place to live in.

rammy said...

hehe..actually linux would be simple for you, but for people like me, its a whole new deal...I like anything that isn't windows, but I'm not nearly talented enough (or tech-smart, for that matter) to be able to customize linux fully or find it simple.I quite struggled with it in the beginning, but I'm slowly (very slowly) getting the hang of it, yeah...
But I totally agree. The world is now a better place.
And I actually do want to know why you don't like kde...

Stargazer said...

Gonna take too long to explain on a comment or an email.
Remind me about the question the next time we meet and I'll tell you or perhaps show you (in case I'm carrying my laptop).
And I just realised that the word verification string for this string is about the size of North America. :-(

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