me and her

The monstrosity that is Me
I try and try to escape her
I don't try hard enough, it seems
I try harder only in my dreams

I wake up to her, belong to her
and she revels in that closed bridge
and I try to change her, I hold her hand
She won't comply with anything I'd planned

I understand her better than anyone else
But she will never understand me
She wants to emulate all these people around
I'm screaming for her to do it, she doesn't hear a sound

She smiles and pretends. it's always been this way
I can't stop her, she's always so tense
I know what makes her happy; I know how to get her there
But complacency and her have always had a love affair

and then she feels that certain way about her life

and I can't watch. I can't be with her, when she does.

She falls back on cousins, named sympathy and pity.
Its a shame she doesn't make the most of her self- sharp and witty.

While she looks on, and on, at all those straight lines and lights
wishing she was part of it. Wishing she was proud of it all
I'm the one that waits for her back in her pillow every night
I'm the reason she doesn't give up without a fight

But she says all that, and she forgets, again.
Her memory blinds her to her thoughts that have been.
No one can help her but her, no one at all
And yet I catch her. I can't just let her fall

Maybe its the truth- she can't stand up for her own self
Maybe she wants to, but everyone needs a little help
Maybe I'm giving her that, and maybe its not mine she wants
maybe I'm every memory that scares her, disarms her, haunts.