human

Maybe you think this post was going to be a piece of amazing(hah!) prose or poetry, wrapping around what it is truly like being human, about feelings that resurrect inside, earthy, earthly thoughts about tendencies, the tender, fragile nature of the human race and our survival instinct and about how love is basically the answer to it all, because its the one and only thing that either binds us all together, or binds us to a death trap.

Well...it is not. I'm not quite that contemplative right now.

This post is about VTU, 've torture u' (watch the latest indiana jones flick..the vee will so ring a bell) and how it has essentially, ruined many aspects of my life, leaving me gasping for freedom and making me feel like the shackles of slavery have been imposed on me for WAY too long. Really. It has been an inordinately long amount of time since I have felt human. You know, creatures who are allowed to just be. Creatures that work, play, and a lot of the time, actually experience a feeling called "boredom". Creatures that are allowed to incorporate elements of human living, like vacations, recreation, seasons into their lives.

Nuh-uh! I am not allowed to do these things.

VTU, for those who are still reading this lamenting post (sorry for that, but really..I am human) has done the following things to my life:

1) I no longer understand the concept of 'a vacation'
People tell me that a vacation means, when you usually get a month or two off from college, you get to go out of station and have a good time.
Firstly, two months off??!!! Plus some weeks here and there, you say?
Wow!! Is that legal?
And secondly...when I get off, its usually a very short time and usually off season in most vacation spots. What does that mean?

2) I no longer understand the concept of seasons.
I thought holidays and seasons went hand in hand. You know, christmas vacation, summer vacation, holidays for these things. Since I get holidays (if you can call them that) only for three weeks in jan and three weeks in july, I'd like to know what comes during that time. Especially when the rest of my country gets off during april-may and dec. So this means I've got seasons and everything else completely wrong. Vacations all alone, and study when all your friends are off!
Sigh. Perfection.

3) I no longer understand what boredom means.
Throw in so many internals, externals and lab externals and extras, and boredom is out the window. Just meeting friends is now slowly becoming impossible. I can't remember the last time I said "Hey, i have nothing to do the whole day..lets do something!"

4) I no longer like what I'm doing.
Hey, if you were subject to NEVER being able to meet your friends and relatives without an exam looming over your shoulder, would you?

5) I am hence, no longer a positive person.
If you had problems 1-4, would you be?

My brains are absolutely totalled from studying. And the exams haven't even started. This year...is just going to be a nightmare. You know how most people say..I can't wait for next week, or next month?
I can't wait for next year! How's that?!
Now, what kind of therapy can reverse all this??

Signed,
Bugged in BSK.